40+

The thought of turning 40 always seemed like a huge milestone. I remember my mom’s 40th birthday when I was a child. There were wardrobe changes, live music, multiple cakes. It was an event! As much as I’m always planning a trip somewhere, my 40th birthday trip was one I’d daydreamed about for a long time.

Once Covid hit and shook up the lives of everyone paying even a little bit of attention, I knew my dreams of an Alaskan wilderness birthday adventure was not in the stars for the big 4-0. Ever the optimist with an insatiable spirit for experiences, I started planning a very intimate, socially distanced camping trip to keep with our new normal of honoring nature around us and finding beauty in the quotidian. What better way to enter a new decade than to wake up to the sound of birds chirping, crickets singing, and an amazing sunrise at the beach, right? Birds sang, crickets chirped, but what I envisioned was just waaaay different than the reality of my actual birthday and the days that followed.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy — I made myself this yellow cake with chocolate icing. Enzo sprinkled it with his magic and we carted it to the beach with us and ended up eating it in on top of the cooler in a parking lot.

Although I felt incredibly grateful to be healthy and sane amidst the chaos that is 2020, I wasn’t going out like that. My birthday is like New Years to me, and I was determined to feel the feelings I knew I needed to feel and really reset the way I required to start this new year and new season off well. After spending many late nights poring over Airbnb photos and reviews, I found a treehouse cabin in the woods of Pennsylvania and decided it was time for a 40th birthday redo. 40 days after my 40th, I found everything I needed to feel in myself and more, and I walked away from that quiet little carve-out of heaven in the woods with these little nuggets of wisdom on my heart and in my notebook. I’m sharing them, I hope they are good reminders for you as well.

To show up for myself for the next 40+ years I must::

• Cultivate a life with a foundation of gratitude

• Speak my truth + honor my experiences

• Not be afraid to be great

• Not be afraid to do the things other people won’t/don’t/can’t do

• Eat more veggies and drink more water!

• Meditate and pray daily

• Exercise for strength and overall wellness

• Prioritize getting a good night’s rest

• Honor my past while staying present and leaving space for current/future blessings to manifest

• Be kind, patient and compassionate towards myself, my son and others, but also take no shit

• Get rid of things that don’t add value

• Get + keep plants alive

• Write daily | take / print photos + share our stories — my stories and other folks

• Connect with those who stretch me, uplift me and challenge me + Disconnect from those who discourage and deplete me

• Read every day

• Sit up straight (my grandma would be proud that this made the list)

• Nurture the skin I live in both physically and spiritually

• Make my time on this earth count and use all my gifts

• Be a breathing manifestation and embodiment of my ancestors’ love, care, hard work, perseverance, and wildest dreams

• Let God’s love shine through me in the way that I care for myself, people and the land

• Drown out all the stories I’ve previously told myself and acknowledge they’re bullshit stories fed to me by scared people who don’t know who I am or whose I am

Now, it’s time to lean into it and live it!

Here are some additional photos from my bonus birthday week in Beach Lake, PA.

Although we were here alone, every time I’d look out at this space I could imagine a post-Covid world where the fire is roaring and the seats are full of joyful people that I love.

We are big into using our Fujifilm Instax Wide Film Camera. We take it on all of our adventures.

Enzo is becoming quite the photographer.

The writing room here reminded me of my childhood. I would lock myself in my room for an entire weekend and type up novels on my typewriter. Enzo was fascinated by the typewriter and went in everyday to “type” something for me.

Exploring on the Lackawaxen River

the light always finds this light-filled boy.

An afternoon well spent — kayaking and catching fish

Hammocks, firepits, treehouses and a view from every window.

The simplest moments are the ones I remember the most. Lazy breakfasts and baths in the woods top the list.

There were cacti in every room of this place. I love desert vegetation so I was obsessed!! My bonus birthday treat to myself was the purchase of as many cacti as I could fit in the car without the fear of injuring either of us.

Here’s to 40+ more…